Comdedy, East and West

Have you heard about our "new press secretary" via Publius Rendevous, Flopping Aces and GOP and the City

BREAKING! According to Flopping Aces and GOP & the City President Bush has already found a replacement for Scott McClellan as Press Secretary. Click on the image below for larger view.

Further, a list has been compiled delienating the Top 10 changes that this new “Era of Bauer” would bring to the White House Press Corps.

(10) Positive stories about Bush increase 145% in his first hour alone.
(9) Five moles weeded out of press corps by Bauer.
(8) Ask a stupid question; get hooked up to the sensory deprivation device.
(7) Podium replaced with bullet-proof barrier with gun ports.
(6) All press conferences last an hour, with all tough questions coming at 45 minutes past the hour.
(5) By the end of a press conference, a minimum of 34 people would have been killed.
(4) “No comment” replaced by “We don’t have time for that question”.
(3) Gary Bauer mistakenly showed up to a press conference, once.
(2) All comments will be yelled.
(1) Blogs4Bauer starts to live-blogs press conferences.

Lined with: Flopping Aces and GOP and the City
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From The Nose On Your Face, "Helen Thomas Sour On New Jack Bauer Role or "Bush Lied, Poopy Flied!"

A somewhat disgruntled Helen Thomas, (pictured at left next to her mate Mongo), is reportedly quite unhappy over President Bush's selection of Jack Bauer as the new White House Press Secretary.

During a recent press conference that she held to discuss the matter, Thomas was quoted as saying both "pfffffttttt!!!!" and "woo-oo-oo-oo!!" in reference to the appointment. Thomas showed further displeasure with the decision by repeatedly banging her arms on the table and flinging fecal matter into the crowd.

Experts say that although they may seem extreme, the aforementioned behaviors are quite normal in mainstream media reporters during a Republican administration.

Thanks to: Mudville

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From Patum Peperium, "Potty Politics"

From England :

"Facilities in a prison are being built so Muslim inmates do not have to face Mecca while sitting on the toilet...Faith leaders had told prison bosses it was unacceptable for Muslim inmates to face Mecca while using the toilet..."The refurbishment has been carried out with due consideration for all faiths", a Home Office spokeswoman said.

Mr. P has determined that our toilets face the City of Detroit. We are expecting a call from the Reverend Jackson, then the inevitable TV appearance before a nosegay of microphones, and then finally the marchers, stepping shoulder-to-shoulder and chanting:

"Grosse Pointe's toilets need to be re-oriented
And anyway, Egypt is where porcelain was invented!"

Now if we could only change the direction in which the wind is blowing. Thanks to littlegreenfootballs.

Mrs. P

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From Dive Desk, "Mecca Be Advised, We Have A Problem"

This ain't covered in the Koran or Anywhere

Performing ablutions for Muslim prayers with water rationing in space and preparing food according to Islamic standards will be among issues discussed, said Angkasa’s director-general, Mazlan Othman.

The astronaut will also visit the International Space Station, which circles the earth 16 times in 24 hours, so another thorny question is how to pray five times a day as required by Islam, she said.

So a muslim would be required to pray 16 x 5 = 80 times ? Just one of the many questions yet to be answered. This could get difficult. Between cleaning up ( performing ablutions ) and praying … not much time left for anything else.

What if a female muslim becomes an astronaut? The dress, travel and all the special needs required for a respectable muslim female. :)

This is going to take some Fatwas … ;)

Be sure and go to Dive Desk for more on Islam

Comments

[Ma r t i n @ b l o g b a t]

I'd like to see them figure out how to orient the spaceship toward Mecca (or space-potty away from same).

But clearly Allah never intended for space travel, otherwise camels would have more powerful rear thrusters.

[Always On Watch]

That link again:

http://ibloga.blogspot.com/

Still on my first cup of coffee!

[Always On Watch]

About "Potty Politics," see http:ibloga.blogspot.com

I got a bit of a threat in the comments section and just HAD to answer back.