By R.J. Godlewski
© December 9, 2008, All Rights Reserved
I don’t know what’s more embarrassing about Detroit – the fact that its mayor ended up in jail, that our illustrious Lions are 0-13 and three losses away from becoming the worst team ever in the NFL, or that out of three “domestic” auto companies not a single one can succeed without begging for money from the rest of the country. If it weren’t for the Red Wings, I doubt very much that one would hear anything positive about the Morbid City (nee Motor City). The truth, however, is that America no longer needs Detroit or its archaic industry.
Not a day goes by without someone saying that America will lose upwards of 4 million jobs if the car-makers go under. The latest piece that I read was an editorial from the Detroit News, which mandates that the GOP do something about passing the ‘bailout’ package salivated over by the Bitch Three. Listen, the worst thing that Congress could do is to fork over a single dime to people that previously invested untold hundreds of billions and turned it into junk bonds. Proponents of this economic life support package claim that it will save 4 million jobs, leaving one to ask “How?”
If the three remaining automotive dinosaurs were to go belly up, it wouldn’t mean their outright extinction. Nothing is ever so permanent within capitalism. In fact, I’d say that the best thing for the state of Michigan would be the forced liquidation of Ford, General Motors, and Chrysler. One of the things that has kept Michigan’s economy so anemic (besides having a socialist governor who instituted the single largest tax hike in state history) is that there has never been a situation where its infrastructure had to be rebuilt from the ground up. Consider when a major hurricane hits along the Gulf and does $20 billion in damage. That’s $20 billion injected into the local economy during the reconstruction period. The same holds true whenever a tornado rips through a small town. Chicago grew after the Great Fire, San Francisco rebuilt itself after the Great Quake, and the Great Plains matured after the Dust Bowl. As for Michigan, however, there’s never been an opportunity to rebuild from scratch.
This is how we managed to become the worst state in the union and how Detroit became the symbol of inadequacy within the auto industry. We never learned to adapt. Even after the state began hemorrhaging its best and brightest workers to the South and West, our state leaders sought to appease those who remained behind. Instead of creating employment through the reduction of taxes, our governor took federal funds earmarked for repairing our dilapidated highways and forked it over to laid-off union thugs so they could attend college for two years (which doesn’t seem to be a worthwhile investment in the long run). The only thing that she has guaranteed was an increase in the number of people bailing out of our state and the resulting necessity to raise taxes on the rest to handle our millions on welfare. Remember those lackluster Lions that haven’t won a football game since the Pleistocene? Fans have to pay a “luxury tax” on their tickets – at least those fans who come in from out of town to see their teams pounce all over the Kitty Cats (known by the one or two local fans still in attendance as the Pussies). Of course, there’s nothing inherently wrong with these Detroit Lions. They’re just owned by Ford, which, of course, explains why they suck.
Now the three automotive “giants” are in Washington begging for 25…34…125 billion and the Detroit News has hopped aboard the bailout wagon by saying that if the financial industry gets money then so too should GM, Ford, and Chrysler. I’m reminded of the period immediately following the Murrah Federal Building bombing in Oklahoma City when people who inhaled but a whiff or two of smoke wanted to share in the same funds as that offered to people who lost arms, legs, and loved ones. Wall Street runs America, Detroit runs itself. The collapse of the financial industry would affect nearly everyone, but I doubt very much that the collapse of one or more of the “American” automakers would have the same effect. At least not with my old Pontiac (which was partially built in Brazil) or my old 2001 Chevy Impala (which was built in Canada).
Michigan is simply not competitive. Never really has been since the period immediately following the Second World War when everyone’s fancy turned to cars and freedom and our state has gone downhill since. When I got out of the Navy, robotics was the “new” future that was going to take over from the auto industry. Diversity was bantered about in messianic tones. Michigan was ready to embrace the coming 21st century. Sadly, when the robotics companies sprang up they turned to the “quick fix” and started producing robots for the automotive industry. Some change.
To survive, GM, Ford, and Chrysler need to become GM, Ford, and Chrysler – three distinct automobile companies. Outside of highly opinionated Michigan and a Ford F-150 is not much different from a GMC Sierra and a Chrysler Town & Country is not very different from a Hyundai Entourage. To compound matters, the Saturn Outlook is simply a slightly larger version of the Saturn VUE. Only GM’s Hummer brand seems to operate within a league of its own and that division is being offed by the company.
Internally, the American automakers serve as hosts for the UAW parasite that is fundamentally to blame for Detroit’s woes. In this regard, I do not even know where to begin. Is it the thousands of employees who are paid to remain at home for two years? Is it the $1500 that is tacked onto every car made just to pay for retiree healthcare? Is it that each employee costs the companies an average of $78/hour when they look as though they should be flipping burgers for $5/hour? Is it the fact that a worker cannot be reassigned to another position if theirs is temporarily down?
Every time that I hear a Congressperson or Senator state that the auto executives must submit a plan of action before the money is released I want to puke. Why haven’t these companies prepared such plans from the start? Because they want Other People’s Money – namely yours. They have absolutely no idea on how to save their companies without begging for a handout from you, Joe Taxpayer. However, hope is not lost for Detroit and I can offer some relatively simple suggestions for the soon-to-be-less-than-Big Three. Some require Congressional approval. Others require union capitulation. All require everyone to decide whether the industry is worth saving or not.
Here’s my plan:
1.) Free the automakers from the reins of the UAW. Unions were fine when eight-year-old kids were forced to work twenty-hour shifts in unsafe factories. Today, they are simply avenues in which organized crime fosters the attention of minorities. There hasn’t been one job within my life where I couldn’t walk through my bosses’ office door and say, “What the hell is wrong with you?” I shouldn’t have to pay money for that privilege anymore than I should have to pay someone just to have a job. The autoworkers can do something to let employees have a voice without union intermediaries. Wal-Mart does it and so do 90% of the country’s employers;
2.) Do away with auto dealerships as they now stand. Congress must let the automakers sell directly to their customers with dealers serving as merely the “hired deliverers” of the new automobiles. Let me buy the car that I want and not just what’s on the dealer’s lot. Every time that I walk into a new auto showroom and see hundreds of thousands of dollars of fancy furniture, I know instinctively where that “additional dealer markup” comes from. There’s a reason that car dealers are amongst the richest people within your community;
3.) Do away with overlapping models. People do not need fourteen different types of minivans, “crossovers”, or pickup trucks to choose from. With available options alone, a car company can adapt a particular model to suit just about anyone who’s looking for that type of automobile. By manufacturing several different models of the same or similar type, the only thing the car companies are doing is making it harder for the sheeple to reach a purchase decision;
4.) Start selling cars to people who need cars. Simply selling cars to people who rotate their vehicle every three or four years is not opening up any new markets. Another thing, why does Ford, GM, and Chrysler spend millions of dollars on new car ads that promote discounts for their employees? Surely, there’s less expensive ways in which to reach people who already work for you? If you have to broadcast to your employees over the already crowded airways that they get a choice discount just by working for you then there’s definitely something amiss.;
5.) Borrow a page from Harley-Davidson which was once in the same boat as the Big Three is now and brand auto images better. Make it “cool” to drive a Ford or Pontiac, not just efficient or “Green”.
6.) As long as you have to make less automobiles, make them all in the United States. Banning the unions, reducing costs, and improving production will enable the Big Three to provide more jobs right here in America. After all, the Japanese, Korean, and German automakers do it. Why not our companies?
Listen, if I write a book and it doesn’t sell, I don’t try to tweak the story until I get it right. I toss the narrative away and concentrate on something else that I can write better. It’s time that we do the same with the American auto industry. Let’s rewrite the business model, relocate the companies towards the more productive South and West, and euthanize Detroit for the benefit of the nation. Michigan is steadfastly sinking and the time to salvage what is worth keeping is not when the “ship” is completely underwater. We had a good run as “Auto Capital of the World”. Now is the time to hit the reset button and find other jobs for the autoworkers. To borrow a phrase from our next president – maybe a little “change” will do them some good.
The city deserves a touch of slack.. for giving us KISS and Ted Nugent.
Posted by: Misfit410 | December 09, 2008 at 11:51 AM
For Misfit 410 from R.J. Godlewski:
KISS is not from Detroit (you might be confusing them with Alice Cooper) and Ted Nugent hates this state even more than I do and moved out a long time ago. He used to live about ten miles down the road from where I grew up.
End comment
Posted by: Debbie | December 09, 2008 at 12:40 PM
I stand corrected, I guess I let the "Detroit Rock City" song and movie fool me.. my bad.
Posted by: Misfit410 | December 09, 2008 at 01:23 PM