Barack Stewie Obama

My name is Stewie Griffin  Barack Obama.   I'm planning to kill Lois  Conservatism and planing world domination.  My best friend is Rupert the bear  Saul Alinsky.  Annoy me and I will kill you take over your corporation, raise your taxes, take away your guns and ammunition, call your freedom of speech hate speech, and basically destroy America.

You know, I rather like this God fellow. Very theatrical, you know. Pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence... gotta get me some of that.

Vile, wicked, evil country, America.  So evil I had to take three overseas publicity tours to apologize to everyone for America's mistakes  Oh, yes,  America, yes-yes yes, everything was going swimmingly for me until this -- my addiction to the teleprompter -- and the TOTUS refusing to do my bidding.    Yes, yes, THIS is the thing that will ruin my reputation, not years of community organizing and ACORN kissing.

All my plans seemed to be falling into place, when suddenly some of my richest supporters fear they have elected a "class warrior" to the White House, they fear I will turn America's freewheeling capitalism into a more regulated European system.  Damn them to Hell, all of them!  So they know my evil plans, they can't stop me.  I say to them, "Oh, sweet! Bring it on bitch! Now how you gonna act and what can you do?!"

To all you Conservatives, "I've got a gift for you in my diaper, it's not a toaster,  ... it's hope and change." There's always been a lot of tension between Lois  the Right and me. And it's not so much that I want to kill her them, it's just, I want her them not to be alive anymore.  

I'm slashing the military budget, the Pentagon's budget, slashing everything I can think of so I can fund all my social programs and continue creating jobs in the government sector, biatch. 

My zombi clone voters have no idea who I really am.  They march in unison to my siren's song "yes we can, yes we can", looking to me for houses, cars, jobs, like leeches.  I've seen them sitting there, lazy, slothful, porcelain layabout feeding on other people's doo-doos while contributing nothing of their own to society, looking to my benevolent government programs to meet all their needs.  They don't have enough sense to come in out of the rain or wipe their own butts -- THEY WORSHIP ME -- STEWIE  Obama, their messiah, savior.

A new gun law being considered in Congress, if aligned with Department of Homeland Security memos labeling everyday Americans as potential "threats," could potentially deny firearms to pro-lifers, gun-rights advocates, tax protesters, animal rights activists, and a host of others – any already on the expansive DHS watch list for potential "extremism."
Bwahahahahahah!!!

Can any of us be a 'good boy?'    Are my primal urges innate or the result of the choices I make?   Or I am I this way because of the influences in my life -- Jeremiah Wright, Islam, Ayers, and on and on?  How did I get here (to America, to the White House)?  Did I escaped from Kevin Spacey's basement!  Who am I?

Well, I'm Stewie, but... you can call me "cookie" if you like. Yes, I also answer to "Artemis, " "Agent Buckwald" and "Snake." Yes, I rather like "Snake."  Well, I'm Barack, but ... you can call me "Hussein" if you like.  Yes, I also answer to "Soetoro", "Barry", "Luo", "The One", and yes, "We are the one we have been waiting for."

I'm ratcheting up my anti-Israel rhetoric and working feverishly to force Israel into a corner by planning to build an anti-Israel coalition with the Arabs and Europe to compel  Israel to surrender Judea, Samaria and Jerusalem to the Palestinians.   I will soon be visiting my Arab friends again, kissing rings and kicking the crap out of America.  I will make my promised speech to the Muslim world from Egypt at the site of the ancient Giza Pyramids in Cairo in June. (Photo: The Associated Press)

Since the Conservative media ripped me a new one for not honoring American troops and burial sites on my previous trips, I Stewie Obama will also visit Normandy, France, for the anniversary of D-Day, and to the Buchenwald concentration camp and Dresden, Germany.

This month I'm launching a six-year global health initiative that will help some of the poorest regions of the world fight health challenges (massive, global, words I love to use) and asking Congress to approve my fiscal year 2010 budget request of $8.6 billion -- and $63 billion over six years -- to shape this new, comprehensive global health strategy.  Then my piece de resistance -- universal government health care in America -- BWAHAHAHAHAHWHWHAHAH!  I WILL CONTROL EVERYTHING!

Stewie Obama to himself:  "Self, well, I say, look at you there. You're a filthy guy, aren't you? Yes. You're looking for a bad time. That's what you're after. You're a dirty flirt. You want it bad. You don't care where you get it because you have no self-respect and that gets you off, doesn't it?  You just want to control of formerly private corporations, you want more and more money to spend on the backs of the hard-working average American.  You want to destroy America, remake her, put prosperity back into the hands of those that got you where you are.  It's all about payback.  Payback for the people behind the curtain.  You don't care how much you rape them or the average Americans, ... as long as you get yours.  You are one sick puppy, vile, wicked, ... The One."

Victory is mine!

Comments

[william lowery]

I propose a toast to all the Wolves of industry, the gimmie pigs, the peace loving non violent Perfect ones from 6qgkquthe middle east, the wealthy Jewish population of America and the millions of ignorant individuals who can't think!
Welcome to your new world, you ask for it, what goes aroung comes around.
WB

[GW]

That is, in equal measure, hilarious and disturbing.

[Angel]

great post but so disturbing!..HAPPY MOMMYS DAY hun!..hugs!:)

[Ralph E.]

snake-hunter sez,

Hilarious, also just plain funny. My sides were aching from the non-stop belly-laughs. Thanks Debbie!

Also, as terrifying as a face-eating 200 pound Pet Chimpanzee!

Now, read this very angry and blunt missile from a school-teacher from Hillsboro, Missouri in..."Letter To The President" that we posted on May 10th...A real hot-doggie, hip-slappin' mind-snapper! Makes you want to go to war! reb
___________________________
www.lazyonebenn.blogspot.com

[MK]

LOL - Good one Debbie.

[Ron Russell]

Unusual and great post--actually leaves me quite speechless Debbie. You are dead-on. For once I just can't add anything, you touched all the bases with this one.

[Debbie]

Thanks everybody. I had fun doing this one, making the images. I'm so sick of Obama I could puke.

Giggity Giggity.

Debbie

[GW]

Rereading your post for the voting, I find it as funny and disturbing the second time around as it was the first. You have captured Stewie with absolutely perfect pitch. A superb post.

[Debbie]

Thanks GW. I know I should have submitted another article for the Watcher's Council, but I really wanted to share this silly thing.

Debbie

[stewie]

great post! enjoyed this a lot! especially since it was about yours truly, stewie griffin >;)

[Debbie]

Stewie: I'm honored you came to visit my blog and comment on your name sake, Barack Stewie Obama (hee hee).

Your're my favorite character on Family Guy.

(Death to Lois)

Debbie