By Molli Nickell, Granny Guerrella
Once upon a time, there lived a Supreme Leader, Barack Hussein Obama, who never, ever, ever accepted responsibility for his actions. No matter what happened, it was not his fault. Even though his country was collapsing into joblessness, debt, and moral decay under his leadership, he maintained a kissy-kissy relationship with nearly one-half of the voting population.
How did he accomplish this miracle? By doing what he was told. Barack Hussein Obama followed instructions from his #1 advisor and consistently professed his innocence of any and all wrong doing, projected good will toward all, blamed others, and used liberal amounts of "magic dust."
Whenever it appeared that Barack Hussein Obama might be linked to a policy or event that could hurt his popularity, his #1 advisor would sprinkle, sprinkle, sprinkle magic dust to disappear his fingerprints away. Then, his #1 advisor would script a teleprompter speech that would redirect the finger of blame. And, as an added precaution, Barack Hussein Obama would be sprinkled with magic dust to transform him into Casper the Ghost-oh-Bama.
"Poof," he would disappear from the scene.
When the Fast-and-Furious gun running program resulted in the deaths of a border agent and hundreds of Mexico citizens . . . sprinkle, sprinkle, sprinkle. Barack Hussein Obama delivered a denial teleprompter speech (crafted by his #1 advisor). "I didn't know anything about this program," he claimed. "Low-level ATF personnel must have initiated it."
Then, sprinkle, sprinkle, sprinkle and "poof." Casper the Ghost-oh-Bama stepped onto a golf course far away from the controversy.
When America's ambassador and three brave warriors were killed in the Benghazi embassy attack . . . sprinkle, sprinkle, sprinkle. In his teleprompter speech to America (and the United Nations), Barack Hussein Obama read his #1 advisor's script and declared, "My National Security advisors report that the attack was caused by a video insulting the Prophet Mohamed."
Then, sprinkle, sprinkle, sprinkle and "poof." Casper the Ghost-oh-Bama flew off to Las Vegas for a campaign fund-raising event.
When the Associated Press (AP) reported IRS targeting of conservative groups . . . sprinkle, sprinkle, sprinkle. In an oh-so-angry teleprompter performance where he huffed and puffed and shot steam out of his ears, Barack Hussein Obama stuck to the script written by his #1 advisor. He declared, "Low-level clerks at the IRS Cincinnati office are responsible for this inexcusable action. They will be severely punished and sent to bed without supper."
Then, sprinkle, sprinkle, sprinkle and "poof." Casper the Ghost-oh-Bama flew off on a good-will jaunt to Mexico.
Then, sprinkle, sprinkle, sprinkle and "poof." Casper the Ghost-oh-Bama disappeared on a $60/$100 MILLION dollar, taxpayer funded, image-enhancing tour/vacation to Africa. His entourage included a smallish army of secret service personnel, food tasters, one aircraft carrier, dozens of fighter jets, the missus, the kids, and assorted cousins and friends.
When a NSA whistle blower revealed the wide-spread illegal surveillance of all Americans . . . sprinkle, sprinkle, sprinkle. Barack Hussein Obama read his #1 advisor's advice, and during his teleprompter speech he double-pinky promised that "NSA will install a fail-safe system to ensure no citizen's personal information and data can never be collected without cause. You have my word on it."
Then, sprinkle, sprinkle, sprinkle and "poof." Casper the Ghost-oh-Bama flew off on Air Force One (at a cost of $1.8 MILLION taxpayer dollars) for a chit-chat appearance on Jay Leno's tonight show.
When Egypt erupted with violence and the possibility of civil war loomed . . . sprinkle, sprinkle, sprinkle. Barack Hussein Obama declared, "Not my fault. The Muslim Brotherhood promised to lead the country in a fair and balanced way. Now they're fighting against the evil military leaders that America supported for years. Darn! Bush set me up again!"
Then, sprinkle, sprinkle, sprinkle and "poof." Casper the Ghost-oh-Bama flew off to a $3.3 MILLION dollar, taxpayer-funded vacation on Martha's Vineyard accompanied by the usual: secret service personnel, food tasters, the missus, the kids and assorted family members including the dog.
But then, oh my goodness, oh my gracious! The unthinkable occurred. Media lapdogs turned on their beloved master and began to call him names like the Food Stamp President, King of Part-Time Workers, Commander Crony of the "Green Business" Brigade, Baracker the Small Business Attacker, and Best Brother to the Brotherhood.
Reporters began to investigate Barack Hussein Obama's possible involvement in directing the IRS to target his political opponents, his purposeful expansion of NSA surveillance, and giving the "stand down" to America's brave warriors during the Benghazi attack.
Even more unthinkable was the determination with which reporters pursued and uncovered a covert, illegal operation that transported military weaponry from Benghazi to Turkey to Syria.
Uh! Oh! Barack Hussein Obama's fingerprints on events and policies began to surface as his #1 advisor's magic dust washed away in a tsunami of scandals.
So, what happened? Did Barack Hussein Obama continue to deny his personal involvement in phony scandals? Did anybody believe him? Did he retain the ability to "poof" out of sight and out of mind to become Casper the Ghost-oh-Bama? Most importantly, did he lose his kissy-kissy popularity with nearly one-half of the voting population? Stay tuned. This story continues to unfold.
Molli's upcoming book, "Uncle SCAM Wants Your Money and Your Country," will be available by August 30. A former publisher, Time-Life editor, motivational speaker, and author, Molli writes Politically Incorrect Fables to enlighten low-information voters, amuse and fire up patriots, and irritate progressives. To read additional fables and daily rants, visit her blog at www.grannyguerrillas.com