By Molli Nickell, Granny Guerrilla
Once upon a time, in a kingdom of good and decent people, an arrogant and power-hungry Prince became King. With the ink still wet on his coronation papers, he seized control of auto makers to pay off unions, regulated banks to artificially support the stock market, fired up the printing press to crank out worthless paper dollars, and re-branded himself as "Dear Leader."
But, it wasn't enough. More than anything, Dear Leader wanted to control the minds of the children so he could own the future of the country.
He needed a strategy, and since he himself lacked adequate critical thinking skills, he ordered the royal advisor to come up with a plan and set it into motion.
And so it came to pass that public school teachers were told to teach their students an "uh, uh, uh" rap-chant that praised Dear Leader's golden promises for equality and world peace.
But, whoopsie! The plan backfired. Instead of creating adoration by the children, it ignited a firestorm amongst moms and dads and grandmothers and grandfathers. Their fury went viral as millions demanded, "Stop your classroom indoctrination agenda. This is a free country. Not North Korea!"
Dear Leader needed an alternative strategy, but couldn't devise a plan on his own, (as usual). Therefore, he ordered his royal advisor to come up with one.
She thumbed through her dog-eared playbook, Alinsky's Guide to Political Ploys, and declared, "Here's a program called Dum-Dum-Dum-Dumb." It's absolutely guaranteed to be 100% effective."
The royal advisor read from the book. "This program rewards public school students for just showing up. It stresses equality over individual scholastic achievement. Kindergarteners are taught to redistribute their snacks, lunch boxes, crayons, and nap blankets."
The royal adviser continued, "The result, within twenty years, will be millions of uneducated A-dolts, totally dependent on your generous handouts of food, shelter, cell phones, birth control, and healthcare."
Dear Leader frowned. "Twenty years? But, I want them now!"
"Be patient Dear Leader. It takes a generation or two to dis-educate the majority of children. Most likely, you'll never gain control of them all. Too many parents understand that true education teaches children critical thinking skills instead of focusing on meaningless attendance trophies. They'll either enroll their children in private charter schools or home school them.
"How dare they!" sputtered Dear Leader. "Order my IRS Gestapo to investigate and tax charter schools into insolvency. Then order NSA to send names and addresses of obstructionist parents to Homeland Security who will ship 'um to attitude-adjustment camps."
Oh my goodness. Will Dear Leader fill FEMA camps with those who oppose his education program? To find out, read the happily/unhappily ever of this fable at The Blaze.
Additional fables are posted at www.grannyguerrillas.com
Just in case you missed it, here's a fable about Prince Hope-n-change, a chapter from my book of Politically Incorrect Fables.
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